This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
