I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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