he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
