he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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