she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
