you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
