It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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