My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
