break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
