He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
