I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
