kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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