you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
