shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
