try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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