Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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