Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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