did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i now understand why vodka
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize