he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A bitchslap is in order.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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