I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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