Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
