My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
