i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
false alarm, still single
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