I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
