What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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