She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
