I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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