seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
