he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This is the prime rib incident all over again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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