She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
