batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
