She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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