in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
