He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This is classic penis vs brain.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
