what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
