Your dad touched me again.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
