Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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