I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
