I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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