the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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