she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
