I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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