Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
