I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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