drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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