Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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