I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
