OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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