I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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