It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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