Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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