Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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