well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
