I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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