I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
