the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm at about main and main street
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
