It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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