I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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