Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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