either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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