i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dear god my vagina.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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